Hard Day

Today has been a hard day.  I am feeling so completely and utterly overwhelmed by everything!  Madi is doing good so I don't know why this all of a sudden came over me but it did.  I guess I am feeling overwhelmed by all the help I am going to need to give Madi over the next few years.  You don't realize how easy it is when you have a healthy baby with no disabilities.  I never had to think about how Taylor was going to learn to hold her head, sit, crawl, walk etc.  Did I do some tummy time with her?  Sure, but it wasn't structured and if I didn't do it for a couple of days it was no big deal.  With Madi, I NEED to be doing these things several times a day.  And even when I do them several times a day, it is going to take 3x or maybe even 10x longer for Madi to be able to do it.

I guess that's part of the low tone.......not only does she have to work harder and longer to attain a milestone but it also will take her longer to do it well.  Her muscles don't have the endurance so she gets tired out real fast.

I don't know......it just seems really overwhelming at times.  I know that I must just take one day at a time but that is really, really hard for me.  That's not in my personality.  I am a planner.  I am always looking ahead.  I push myself and expect myself to succeed better and faster.  And I think the same about my girls.  So, it is really hard for me to accept that Madi is going to do things on her own timeframe.  I guess this is going to teach me some patience.......maybe????

Don't get me wrong, I will have HIGH expectations for her.  I just have to accept that they might take her a little longer to achieve.  There is NO doubt in my mind that she is going to be successful in life and be able to live life to the fullest!

Okay.....I am feeling a little better already.  I guess I just needed to write this down and get it off my chest.  I must read the poem that I quoted yesterday and remember that she will do everything in her own time.   There was my 1/2 hour of freetime I get in the day, time to get back to taking care of a 9 week old and 2 1/2 year old.