1 year ago today.....my life was sent into a whirlwind.
1 year ago today........I thought that my life was over. But, what I have since learned, is that my life is just beginning.
I can hardly believe that it was a year ago that Madi came into our lives. It seems like yesterday. But, in some ways too, it feels like forever.
My emotions and feelings about Madi have changed so dramatically in this last year that I feel like it HAS to have been a long time. There is NO way that I thought those thoughts just a year ago.
When Madi was born.......I saw those eyes with their distinct almond shape and her limp and lifeless arms and legs......I thought my life was over. There was NO WAY that I can have a child with Down syndrome. I CAN NOT do it!!
I have to be honest, I had horrible, horrible thoughts when I first learned about the Down syndrome. Most of them all revolved around me. I was very selfish in my thinking and all I could think about was how this was going to affect ME. Don't get me wrong, I was concerned about her health. But, when I thought about the future, I was more concerned about how this was going to affect MY life and MY plans.
Well, a year later, Madi is MY life. And everything about her is in MY plans. And I wouldn't change it for the world!
Madi truly was destined to be my child. I have mentioned before that I think that I got breast cancer to help me become a stronger person and to prepare me for Madi. Now, for those of you that know me very well, you know that I am not a super religious person. But, I really do believe that God has given me Madi to help me become a better person.
And really, she's not just changing me. She affects everyone that has the privilege of getting to know her. I wish that everyone could have the opportunity to be in her presence. There is something about her that is different. And I'm not talking about that extra chromosome. When she smiles, those almond eyes of hers crinkle up and turn into little slits, and the light that emanates from them changes the room. I know that it sounds totally cliche.....but her smile literally lights up the room!
Many people wonder how we are doing on a day to day basis in regards to the Down syndrome. I can honestly say that I don't think about the Ds or dwell on it anymore. Yes, our lives are different because of the Ds........we are doing different therapies all the time and working on goals with Madi but we don't dwell on the Ds. Do I get sad about it every now and then? Yes, of course. But, what I am sad about has changed. I am sad that she has to face medical challenges (who wants their child to have tests done on them!) and I am sad when someone looks at her funny. But, I am not sad for the reasons that I had before. I am not sad for her future......because I KNOW that she is going to be amazing! Do I get frustrated sometimes with her lack of progress? Of course, but she is teaching me that patience that I have never had.
Every parent has to go through struggles with every child. Some deal with it when they are teenagers, some when they are adults.......me, I get to deal with it while Madi is young. I will certainly take the medical and physical struggles we go through with her any day over the struggles I KNOW that I will face with Taylor when she is a teenager!
I hope that through my blog, I am helping a few people change their opinions of what a person with Down syndrome is all about. They are just like everyone else......just with that little extra something!
Here's a look at the past year!
|Coming home from the NICU.|
|She's been a hard worker since day 1!|
|Whatchu lookin' at!?|
|Eating her birthday cake!|