Loss of Loved Ones

You're probably thinking that this post is about the loss of a family member......that is a person.  It IS about the loss of a family member......but that family member is two of our cats.

Yes, I am a cat person.

I know some of you reading this probably don't care for cats.....but I ADORE them!!!  

To give you a little history of my cats.....

We have always been the crazy Cat Hair House!  (Hence, my email address....cathairhouse@)  For the last 7 years or so, we have had 3 cats.  Two of them I had before Mark even entered the picture.  Charlie found me when I was living in Phoenix, shortly after graduating college.  Someone had abandoned him and the animal lover that I am.....I took him right in.  Being the broke flight instructor that I was, I could barely afford gas in my car but I took Charlie Bear in and gave him all the love a cat could ever want.

Mr. Charlie Bear

When I got hired at my first airline job, I felt so bad that Charlie was by himself for several days.....so along came Kosmo.  He's our fluff ball Main Coone cat.

Kosmo, otherwise known as Fluff Ball

And then there is Celeste.....Mark and I went to buy some cat food at a pet store when we were living in Minnesota, and Mark, the sucker other animal lover that he is, could NOT leave without bringing her home with us.

Pretty Girl Celeste

So, now that you have the history of how we got them, here comes the beginning of the sad news.

Charlie was very old.  I had him for 16 years but he was 3-4 years old when I got him.  He has been the cat of 1000 lives!!!  The week that Mark and I got married, he had to have major surgery (changed his plumbing to be a girl's plumbing.....I know, I know).  There have been several times over the last few years that we thought it was going to be his time to go.  But, he always seemed to bounce back.  Over the last year, though, his weight got lower and lower.  We knew it was just a mater of time.

Out of the blue about two months ago, Celeste started looking thinner.  She has always been this short, very, very fat cat.  So, when I say thinner, she was actually looking healthy for the first time since we got her.  Even though she looked healthy, we knew something was probably wrong.  Took her in, her blood work indicated cancer.  We then had an abdominal ultrasound done on March 21st, it showed a very large tumor on her right kidney.  We decided we couldn't afford to do chemo for her so we just tried to make her comfortable.  7 days later, on March 28th, she began foaming at the mouth and just laid in her own pool of diarrhea.  I took her in and basically, the cancer had taken over her body.  I made the decision to not let her suffer and we euthanized her.

Since her passing, we have missed her presence tremendously.  She was not a cat that demanded your attention, but when she gave you her love, it was so sweet.

So, here we have been trying to move on with 2 cats now.

For the last 10 days or so, Charlie seemed to be getting thinner and thinner.  He basically was just a skeleton with skin and cat hair on it.  He had a few days of hiding and sleeping but then he "bounced" back and was actually pretty frisky!  This last Monday, he barely could walk.  When he did walk, he stumbled and his back legs couldn't seem to keep up with his front legs.  I spent the entire morning with him....cuddling him, kissing him and trying to decide if this was "the" time.

I took him to the vet and she said his body was starting to shut down.  His heart had developed a murmur, his liver was very large and she thought his heart was starting to fail.  She has always been a vet that would offer me "something else" to help keep him going.  But, this time, she said that it was "time".

Mr. Charlie Bear passed away in my arms and since then, my heart has been broken in two.

I know that some people won't understand this......"he was just an animal" right?  But, he wasn't.  He was my baby.  My first baby.  He was my "rock" through many tough times in my life.  He was the stability that I always had.  He loved me no matter what was going on through my life.

So, now we have this very, very quiet house....with the exception of the howling and crying that our other cat, Kosmo, does.  Kosmo and Charlie were together for 15 years.  He is mourning the loss of his companion just as much as I am.  He has been very needy and upset since Celeste passed away but now it is at a whole new level.

These last 3 pictures were taken during our cuddling time on Monday.  He was such a good looking cat!!!  His markings were gorgeous!

I miss my Charlie Bear sooo much!!!!

I know that it will get better.......but, right now, it hurts to be at home and to listen to the silence.

I love you Charlie!!!!