3 Year Cancerversary!

3 years ago today.........I was diagnosed with Stage II Breast Cancer.

At the time, I thought my life was over.  When I got the dreaded phone call, I threw myself down to the ground and kicked, screamed and cried like a 2 year old having the worst tantrum.  There was no possible way that "I" could have breast cancer.  It didn't make any sense.  It had to be some sick joke.  Or nightmare.  Something.  It just couldn't be true.

For those of you that don't know my cancer story.......I want to share it with you.  Maybe it will convince you to do those self breast exams and to be an advocate for yourself.

I first found my lump when I was pregnant with Taylor.  I didn't think a single thing about it.....to be blunt and honest......my breasts were enormous when I was pregnant.  They were all lumpy and bumpy so, of course, I didn't think anything about the lump.  After Taylor was born, the lump was still there even though the other bumps had gone away.  I still didn't think anything about it because I knew that fibroids were kind of common while breastfeeding.  And really, WHY would I think anything of it?!?!  I was 33 years old and had NO family history of ANY kind of cancer, let alone breast cancer.

At my postpartum check up, I showed it to my OB.  She thought it was fibroids but wanted me to get an ultrasound done on it.  She wasn't concerned at all so it was not a rush deal.  I waited about a month to get it done.

At my ultrasound, they told me that they were 99% sure that is was NOT breast cancer.  They thought it was fibroids or a benign tumor.  They wanted me to have a biopsy done to determine which it was.  Again, they told me it was no rush and to wait a couple of months since I was breast feeding.  They said that the biopsy could spring a "leak" and I would have to stop breast feeding.  I chose to have it done right away.  I was getting ready to go back to work and I figured it would be easier to have it done while I was still on leave.

So, a week later.......I had a biopsy done.  The next day, I received the phone call that would forever change my life.

I was diagnosed with Stage II Triple Negative Invasive Ductal Carcinoma.

The next 3 1/2 weeks, were a whirlwind of doctor appts.  I never in my life thought that I would be meeting breast surgeons, oncologists and interviewing plastic surgeons.  Those 3 1/2 weeks were a hot mess of emotions too!  There were alot of those tantrums that I talked about and alot of denial.

But, as I approached my date of my double mastectomy....... I became at peace with it all.  I was "over" the crying and was ready to KICK CANCER'S A**!!!!

Enough crying......enough feeling sorry for myself........I had a 4 month old baby girl to raise!  And, dang it, I was going to be around to see her grow up!!!!

Here I am, right before going into my double mastectomy!

..........and afterwards!


A month after my surgery, I completed my first round of chemotherapy.  I did 4 rounds of Adriamiacyn and Cytoxen.  And 4 rounds of Taxol.  I had a 2 week break in between each round of chemo.

The next 2 photos are of my first chemo........I was getting my dose of Adriamiacyn, which is also known as the "Red Devil".  It is a nasty, nasty drug!

As you can see from the pictures, I looked a little bit different than I do now.  I had long blonde hair that I absolutely loved!  I knew that about 2 weeks after my first chemo, my hair was going to start to fall out.  And I was NOT going to allow that to happen.  If my hair was going to come out.......it was going to be on MY terms!

So, we planned a head shaving party!

Mark had the pleasure of being the one to cut it off and shave it!

But, then the tables were turned!!!  He let me shave his head so that we could be bald together!

We were officially the bald headed family!!!

Can you believe that is Taylor?!?!

After each chemo, I slowly got sicker and sicker.  I got pretty thin and pale.  I didn't realize what I looked like at the time.......but when I look back at the pictures, I really didn't look that great.

Here's my second chemo session......

My mom sporting a pink wig to support me!

And my third chemo.......on St. Patrick's Day!

Mark and my wonderful friend, Nancie joined me that day.

When I was half way through my chemo.......my friend, Nancie, threw me a party to celebrate!  And my "girls" from Minnesota came to help me party it up!

My 5th chemo.......

And finally, my last!  I'm with my awesome oncologist!

When it was all said and done........I looked pretty icky.

But, you know.......that is all in the past now!

I am three years out and most of the time, I don't even think about it.  To be honest with you, I am so wrapped up in my girl's lives and I am so consumed with Madi and her therapies and stuff, I forget that I even went through it.  Yes, you read that right........I forget that I had cancer.  I just don't think about it anymore.

Of course, I think about it as I approach my 4 month appointments with my oncologist.  (Which I have next week.)  And when I have a pain that lingers a little too long.  I think that the cancer is back.  But, the majority of the days, it isn't in my mind.

So, what do I hope that you have gained from reading this?

First, do those breast exams!!!  You, and only you, truly know your body.

Second, if you find something, don't delay in getting it checked.  My tumor had more than doubled in size in the 3 1/2 weeks from my biopsy to my mastectomy.

And third, don't let any doctor tell you that you are too young to get breast cancer.  I was 33 years old with no family history.

Why did I get breast cancer???????

That is the ultimate question!  If someone figures it out, let me know!  Actually........... it was my destiny to get cancer.  It helped me become a stronger person.  A stronger mama.  And it prepared me for the day that I heard the words, "Your daughter has Down syndrome."

Day 3 of 31: Breast Cancer Walk

This post is going to have nothing to do with Down syndrome......but, it is another aspect of my life that is very near and dear to me.

As everyone already knows, October is also Breast Cancer Awareness month.  Many of you are new to my blog, so you don't know that almost 3 years ago I went through my breast cancer journey.  I was diagnosed in December 2008, when Taylor was only 3 months old.  I will spare you all the details about my journey, as I plan on writing about it when I am closer to my cancerversary.

Yesterday, I participated in the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer walk!  A couple of years ago, we formed a big team called Karrie's Krew......it was a great time!  But, now I feel I need to gather my support for the Down syndrome Walk instead.

The last 2 years I have walked with my mom and my good friend, Nancie.

And, you know, it is just a really good fit!  These two ladies are very important people in my life and there is such a comfortableness there that I can't imagine spending this day with anyone else.

The walk is always such an amazing event!!!  The amount of support people give is just awesome!  (Now, if we could get some of this support over to the Down syndrome walk!!)  This year seemed crazier than ever with the amount of people.  I never did hear what the final numbers were but I think it was somewhere around 35,000 people!  Wow!!

What's better than some muscular, hot firemen in pink shirts!!!

These last 2 pictures is my favorite part of the walk.....the route loops around and you really get a sense of the amount of people that are participating!  And, if you are looking down from above......it forms a pink ribbon!

After the walk this year, we did something a little different.  Instead of walking around to the various vendors, we walked over the Four Seasons hotel and had bloody's and brunch!  And, it was GREAT!  We sat and reflected on the day that I was diagnosed.  The feelings.  The emotions.  My thoughts.  And, you know, there is a real similarity with the day I was diagnosed and the day I found out Madi has Down syndrome.  Shock.  Disbelief.  Loss of dreams.  Anger.  Feeling sorry for myself.  Scared of my future.  Numb.

All of these emotions that I felt when I heard the "C" word were there when I heard the 2 words "Down syndrome".  But, I have made it through the "C" word and I AM making it through the "Ds" words, too!    I really don't even think about the fact that I had cancer, just as Ds is moving further and further back in my mind, and I just enjoy and relish in Madi for who she is and her accomplishments and not what she has.

Sometimes I think that I got cancer to help prepare me for Madi's arrival.  I know it sounds kind of silly because Madi wasn't even a thought in my mind yet.  I had just had my 1st baby, Taylor.  But, cancer happened so that I could learn how to be strong.  Learn how to be an advocate.  And to learn what's REALLY important in life.   (okay, I don't think I learned the last one until Madi was born)  But, I also learned how to ask for help.  I physically wasn't capable of caring for a newborn after having a double mastectomy and going through chemo.  (I think I still need to improve on this one, too!)

Even though Taylor didn't do the walk with us, she still was dressed in spirit!!

This month is kind of an emotional month for me.  Down syndrome and Breast Cancer all in one month......whew!